Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
