I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
