Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
