It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
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We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
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No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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