In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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