Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize