whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
