I bet he comes in French.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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