i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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