Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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