You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
