She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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