That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
