There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
