this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
