Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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