are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
