I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
