i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
