Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
