Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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