He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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