i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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