Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
