i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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