hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
