Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My dick has a subreddit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
