Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
