He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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