I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
cat food counts as protein by the way
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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