i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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