I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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