Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You left your phone here
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