So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
