and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
