Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
