Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize