dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
