guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
