he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
