Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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