on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
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I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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