I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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