Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
