I'm lost and stupid without you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
