Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
