so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Say something about gay babies.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
