One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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