its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
