Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
