So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
