Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I faked an abortion last night.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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