It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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