With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
