that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
