Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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