Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
