I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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