the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
