ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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