i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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