marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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