There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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