mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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