why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
