Swine flu. Run for my life!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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