I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
