whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
