Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
