I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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