yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
