"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
